You know there is a moment when you close your eyes and think… you think real hard – and looking back Amaze yourself because of all the Obstacles that were in the way – and you have managed to surpass them all.

I did this in March when I met the love of my life. A dark Person. A Very special man. A man I saw in front of me and realized I wanted. I was not going to stop or give up until got him, and all my work has paid off.

I Look into his eyes and I see just as much as the first day. I love this man more and More, so this Long fight to make him feel me, to feel emotion, was worth it. I’ll never give up on this man as he has truly become My world.

This Man has taught me and Guided me and has been there for me through it all.. my ride or die.

If you are reading this, My love, I want the world to know there is no other man in this world that will ever compare to you. You are more then I could have hoped for and I fall more and More in love with you every single day. You have let me Into the deepest Parts of your heart and allowed me to Heal you, and replenish you, and be here for you.

Thick and thin .. Hell or High water, I never thought in a million years I could ever Love a man as I do you. You know my deepest and I know yours. I’ll take with me every part of you and guard it, never letting anything Drain you.


I’m addicted to hurting,
Addicted to squirming,
Addicted to the Mind fuck you bestow Upon me

My heart Races
I seen Faces and trying to find a replacement
but I will never seek what you give
without you I can not Give
my Mind weak and In your Hands you are the Only Man

I die each time we Part
My heart torn From the Start
our Love is a demented work of art
but if I left I would be Smart,
so I chose to stay and Suffer
your Will of bending I can not escape
for you are the reason I’ve sealed my fate.


I close my eyes and dream of this sheet black and sold surrounding me just like you did

A man who was cold and could not feel A man who made me work for real.

I love you more then the last day the more you show me the depth of your core,

I just keep wanting more.

I cant think right now my skin feels you, your touch those lips,

They send flutters through my body my eyes close and I imagine you here,

I can feel you I can feel you near.

you hold me tight and tell me you love me as I look into your eyes,

I see into your Soul now tell me,

feel this warmth from me to you from beginning to end,

you are not only my lover but you are my best friend.

Your arms are strong I feel them wrapped around my body security in my heart

our love is a demented work of art.

I just hope this Moment will never go away,

I want to love you more and more each day

I hear you, I hear you whispering into my ear

“Yes Daddy” “I need you” I say I need you More and more Each Day.

You Smile and Run your fingers Through my Hair Tugging on my collar pulling me Closer to you

I look at you once more and Say Daddy I could not wish for anything more.


I am trying to find myself again

Reaping and weeping in the night for I wish I was in his arms and he would hold me Tight,

I miss His Prison the steel gates that surrounded my soul,

For I had no doubt he was always the one in total control.
I catch myself Trying and wanting all the the past to be gone,

When me and you Used to have fun.
Its Unfortunate How Much this Hurts,

I want it to go away This Pain I have to feel Day by day.
Will it ever get better will I ever Smile again,

I ask my self this question Deep within.
Temptation is my feeling I need to Let it go,

But my heart Is Hurting for you are the only thing I know.



I want you to Listen to me real Close  as I whisper into your Ear
You are everything to me Even tho you are rarely Here.
I want to think of the times we have shared
So many times you showed me you care.
Daddy these are the times That mean the most
Even when your blogging working on a Post
I miss you Daddy I miss you near
I need you Daddy you are my cure
My sugar you are my Addiction,
Like heroin is to a fiend
you are my world my And my King
I love you Daddy Listen real Close  as I whisper into your ear
Please Daddy never vanish or disappear
I need you Daddy I need you here
I need your Arms Like a my Teddy bear
one Day I will meet you and Hold you close
till then I dream of it each and everyday
we will be together in some way some magical Winter Day.